Death to catbirds! Let me qualify that - death to the catbirds in my back yard! Have you ever heard a catbird? Have you ever had them nesting within 20 feet of your back porch and bedroom window? Have they ever attacked your cats? Have you ever been woken 4 mornings in a row by their incessant, infuriating, raucous, god awful cry? Have you??!

I almost forgot. I have an object lesson for you, my dears.

Object Lesson : Phlebotomy

OR never let a doctor do a nurse's job

All right. All right. I have been MIA long enough, I guess. I have received numerous kind and encouraging emails recently as well as several verbal scolding regarding my pitifully out of date website and to show you that I am all too aware of how behind the times I am, I am finally linking to my collection of pictures from the Parker Sibling World Tour. Believe it or not, I left the county one year ago tomorrow. Where the fuck has the time gone? Anyway, thanks for all the emails and interest. Take a peak and don't take it too hard if you don't hear from me again for another year.

The obsession continues:

A few days ago I finished a biography of the quintessential polar explorer; the hardest, bravest and perhaps most modest man to accompany Scott and Shackleton South, the indomitable Tom Crean. He was called the Irish Giant and no man by his side or in his charge ever perished. He never failed. He always made it home. ...What a champ.

With good Ol'Tom's story out of the way I turned my sights to a slightly different kind of man; the thinking person's explorer, a sensitive, depressive and confessed failure. I have decided to read Sara Wheeler's Cherry: A Life of Apsley Cherry-Garrard. Cherry-Garrard was, by my reckoning, the most handsome character of the Heroic Age of Antarctic Exploration (1902-1914). I have quite a crush on him and not only because he was a looker. He was also a sweet, sad man who was forever haunted by the Ice and who refused to forgive himself for not pushing 11 miles further south, a decsion which he believed resulted in the loss of 5 men, including Scott.

Now for some time I have also been wanting to read dear Apsley's own book, The Worst Journey in the World, which by National Geographic's reckoning is the 'Greatest Adventure Book of All Time' - ranked number one in a hundred - for real, and is mostly the account of a 3 man journey through the Antarctic winter in search of emperor penguin eggs, but for various reasons had never gotten around to it.

I purchased both books. For a number of days I could not decide which I should read the first, the biography of the man or the man's own book. Its a tough call, something like deciding if you should see the movie before you read the novel, but I was then struck with the perfect solution. I would read them simultaneously! What could be better? Adventure! Handsomeness! The Pole!

I have decided that I have one month to read both. Wheeler's Cherry is no sliver of a book and The Worst Journey..., by some considered the War and Peace of travel nonfiction, is nothing short of gigantic. Between them I have close to one thousand pages to read by the end of May.

This might not seem like a lot to you, but I am a notoriously slow reader and I have also recently given up by twice daily trolley rides in order to bike to and from work thus losing an hour of good reading time every day. oh, but who am I kidding? I am really just nervous because these are both such impressing retelling of such depressing stories.

I am worried about the journey ahead of me. Will I succeed or will I languish in the snow?

The most adorable bird in the all of birdom:

sport sport sport sport sport !

You know what I realized? You know what happens next?

mosquitos.

I cant help but feeling like I am going to go to hell for my lunch today. Its not like I ate baby or anything, but I did glean so much enjoyment from my fare and I thought so persistently about what it was doing to my cholesterol that Iould not help but think it was sinful. Here's what was on my plate -

• 4 multi grain and sourdough rolls from LeBus
• 1 avocado (did you know there are SIX different kinds of avocado?!)
• several whole green olives (marinated in oil with fennel and peppercorns)
• 1/2 a pound of St Andre (a triple cream brie)
• my left over Papillion Roquefort
• a 1/4 a pound of Belladonna (not the poison, the aged gouda)
• butter
• salt
• raspberry vinaigrette (for dipping of course!)
• numerous malt eggs (thanks to Colly's easter basket)
• a cannoli
• an Honest Tea mint icedtea and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

I had given considerable thought to trying to get my hands on some caviar, but I elected against it since I only have about 80 dollars to my name.

Tonight - Movies and Colt!

Good lord I am so bored! SO bored that I placed a personal ad the other day, so bored that I am eating blue cheese for fun, so bored that I bidding on ebay, so bored that I have taken to drinking colt 45, so bored that I have gotten a blockbuster membership. Its looking grim people. Maybe tonight I will do my taxes. whoopee!

I am figuring its about time I said something about this. Now, I don't necessarily expect anyone to truly understand, but GOOD NEWS - I have a genetic disorder. Its true. Its official. The results of my CT scan prove it. Well the results of my DNA test will really prove it, but that's all research based so I may well have to wait years to know for sure. In any case, the CT scans clinched it. I, along with other members of my family, suffer from HHT or Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia. The CT scans show these little things called Arteriovenous malformations on my lungs. AVMs as they are called (You picking up all these terms? There will be a quiz later.) are these tiny improper connections between one's arteries and veins. This can cause significant problems when they happen in certain organs, say the brain (nasty stuff), or in the lungs when they allow infection or necrotic tissue to pass unfiltered back in to your blood stream (thus ending up in the brain, again nasty stuff). Ok so by this point you may be thinking that I was being facetious with the "GOOD NEWS" exclamation, but in fact I was perfectly serious in my glee. Not only do I get the plus ten goth points for being able to say I have a genetic disorder (I can already hear my witty and/or outrageously melodramatic comments about "bleeding on the inside" and "my condition" 0H surely you can all see the charm in that?!?), but most importantly, I know. I know. I have an answer. It explains everything from my bloody nose to my shortness of breath to my stroke. I know why I had a stroke! Until two days ago I didn't have such knowledge and I am being totally, honestly sincere when I say - this is good news. And the best part - now that they know what's broken, they can fix it. Well, I hope anyway.

oh and wait - there is even BETTER NEWS - yesterday after what seemed like an enternity of labor, Tim and Bronwen had their baby. A little boy. 8 pounds something. That beats my deal for sure.

meow meow meow meow

Last night I danced the night away with my valentine - Sport. Oh, and what a night it was! Because it was a special occasion, we made dinner and then retired to my room where I put on his favorite cd - the White Stripes self titled album from 99. Within no time we were cuttin the rug. You think I am kidding, but Sport loves to dance. He even likes to sing and as you can imagine, he has a lovely signing voice and don't forget Sport LOVES the White Stripes. He perches on my shoulder, wings out, head banging (or as we call it, hammering) and he whistles, tweets and chirps away. Its really something to behold. When we had had our fill of dance we moved on to a neck rub and a little preening. He ground his bill and I nodded off to sleep. It was perfectly magical. I love that bird of mine.

Also, I bought myself a valentine's day present. I wouldn't normally have mentioned it, but when I looked back on my order receipt, it kind struck me as strange. I chuckled. I had purchased the book "Tom Crean - Unsung Hero of the Scott and Shackleton Antarctic Expeditions" (Smith) and the cd "Songs for Polar Bears' by Snow Patrol. OH - the other thing I noticed today - I am making this mix cd and I did a double take when I read through the titles again this afternoon. I included the songs 'A Northwest Passage' (The (International) Noise Conspiracy), 'Arctic Snow' (Burning Brides) and though not snow oriented,but somehow similarly themed, 'Stove by a Whale' (Ted Leo and the Pharmacists).

Apparently my soul is still beset in ice.

I would like to point out that I have recently referred to five, count 'em - five radically different and unrelated uses for the word "hedgehog"

a cuddly woodland creature
a pun in moby-dick
a sega video game
a porn star's nickname
a limb producing embryonic protein

its strange how the world/my brain/this page works...

Hey, did you know that we humans have a protein called the Sonic Hedgehog protein. In our first embryonic stages its helps us make our fingers (and I assume toes). Apparently it might also can help people with certain types to Diabetes - lord knows how. So yeah a researcher named this protein after his/her favorite video game. Thanks to this one person, I have a chemical in my body named after stupid blue creature from a nintendo game. I hate you, researcher!

what else have I learned?

oh, I have learned that Phil is the easiest person to by gifts for. He has really put that creme brulee set that I got him for Christmas to good use and more recently he has really been keen on his birthday crepe pan. I think for Easter I am gonna get him a massage table... I mean really, what's more rewarding then seeing to it that those you love have the wonderful things they desire??

I would like to thank two persons who have recently pointed out either error or ignorance in my daily(ha) entries. First, recent birthday girl and darling of the University of New Mexico Volcanology department, Melissa Anne Pfeffer. Melissa brought it to my lazy attention that my last entry, dated yesterday, is misleading if not wholly inaccurate. Melissa points out that the weather patterns over the last 100 years have indeed been more unstable then in the whole of recorded human history, doubtless due to industry and human negligence blah blah blah. Just kidding with the blahs, Melissa. Point well taken and I did in fact find the info you sent me very useful and surprisingly informational (after you explained it to me). None of this of course deters me from my single minded belief that this is nothing new, that even man's folly and bad habits wont result in anything exceptional or globally so dire. I am reminded of what I believe was called the oxygen holocaust, one of the first mass extinctions, where a certain oxygen excreting microbe poisoned something like 99% of all other life on this planet with its choking, nasty oxygen waste. A tragedy to be sure, but ah what luck?! As this single development in waste production made life possible for all oxygen loving organisms on this planet! I can't be sure, not being an evolutionary biologist myself, but I am willing to bet this occurred in what would generally be considered, geologically speaking anyway, a very short period of time. Now, I should have checked my flimsy facts here. I am sure someone can call me on all this as well, but the point is and was not to be accurate so much as just to have a playful tirade. so there.

Secondly I would like to thank reader David for pointing out that the Melville's "prophecy" was very much a statement about political and world affairs of the time:

"I just thought you'd like to know that Melville is, I believe, referring to the Crimean war in Afghanistan and the presidential race between James Buchanan and John Fremont, both of which were happening 1856."

Even at the time I didn't doubt that Melville was writing about something more then our current president's dubious assumption of power and present actions in certain foreign lands, but I have too small a basis of American history to catch the reference. You still have to admit the striking coincidence... so there!

la dee da. Winter is back

It in the 60s again today. People here are really upset by the weather. People are feeling nervous and there is crazy talk about what it could all mean. "The weather is fucked" they say. Hey, I have have even said it, but they go on to back their theories by adding, "The weather used to be more static"

"NO!" I say. "Yes, the weather has always seems more static to us, over our life time, what 20 to 30 years, 60 even, but 100 or 200 years ago, what about 1000 years ago? Throughout the course of that history the weather has been as fucked as this and doubly so. Shit, every couple centuries there is an earthquake that cleaves Kansas in two. There are tidal waves, hail storms in deserts, volcanic eruptions, meteor showers, and every so often frogs rain out of the bleedin sky. YES! the weather is fucked, but that's the damn point" I say. It's nothing new.

1/29/02 Its 68 degrees in center city today. Fuck yeah January! I kept meaning to post this picture. This is me and marychen back in 1993. We were 18. Aren't we the cutest?

Tonight is girl's night at punk rock karaoke. Watch out.

The best headline I have read EVER:

DOVER, Del. January 17, 2002 - Several flesh-eating lizards were found feasting on the corpse of a man who was found dead in his apartment, police said.

enough said.

Jason recently wrote to me about seeing Ron Jeremy perform live. I didn't know all that much about the adult movie legend, not what he looked like or even his charming woodland creature nickname. So, my curiosity piqued, I did a google search. Needless to say I was a bit amused, perplexed and ever so slightly grossed out. I didn't think much about it until today when I was riding the trolley to work. I was deeply immersed in chapter 11 of Moby-Dick where in one Captain Peleg refers to Queegueg as "Hedgehog" and it was at that moment that charter 11 of Moby-Dick was forever changed. Oddly enough the chapter title is "His Mark". Yet another fine example of how Meliville imitates life.

Oh and my other example! Melville's prophecy!

Okay so in chapter one, also aptly named, "Loomings" dear Ishmael is expounding on his desire to go to sea. He reaches the conclusion that his impending voyage is part of fate's design. He says and I quote (note I am keeping as true to font and layout as possible),

And, doubtless, my going on this whaling voyage, formed part of the grand programme of Providence that was drawn up a long time ago. It came in a sort of brief interlude and solo between more extensive performances. I take it that this part of the bill must have run something like this: Grand Contested Election for the Presidency of the United States WHALING VOYAGE BY ONE ISHMAEL BLOODY BATTLE IN AFFGHANISTAN

So what do you think about that? weird huh? I swear I will stop quoting Melville and any other author that writes about disaster at sea.

Due to my excessive, but not yet unhealthy, sense of indulgence, as well as seemingly infectious high spirits and a guiltless case of good luck, I would count this as the happiest, most cheerful and pleasing new year I have ever had.

Highlights include:

repeated medium size to large social gatherings
chocolate fondue with berries
bedtime stories
dim sum
Dom Perignon 1990
Apsley Cherry-Garrard
duraflame logs
would-be love letters
white wine (for me - red for everyone else)
charming, couch crashing friends
champaign brunches
birthdays and other gift giving occasions/holidays
comic books
cream brulee
the new "members only" downstairs at Dahlak
budding orchids
south philly bridal boutiques
soft drugs
12 year aged scotch
bath salts
Sport!

* * *

What I have been reading - with credits:

South with Endurance, Hurley. thanks to Mom
Struwwelpeter, Hoffmann. thanks to JoshC
Transmetropolitan (issues 1-12), Ellis. thanks to Levi
Moby-Dick, dear ol' Melville. thanks again to my Mom (via my christmas stocking)

I recommend all of these books. Especially Moby-Dick which is strange and intense and FUNNY. I cant believe I am laughing. Its actually comical. Remind me to tell you about the weird timely prophecies of Herman Melville.

Also, I would like to mention one of the last books I read - A First Rate Tragedy. Its about Robert Falcon Scott, his two voyages to the south pole and his eventual demise there. It is so well done. I'll quote an email I recently wrote on the subject:

It was all about [british] pluck and courage. About national honor and begin the toast of the geographic society should you succeed. By god perhaps even knighthood! It was all about foolhardy determination and gallantry for the sake of science and the betterment mankind and civilized society.

Sooner or later I am gonna have to write more about this. I have much to say. I want to be an explorer. Or no, I don't think thats it so much as its that I want to marry an explorer. I am not sure which, but I think there is a definite lack of exploration and the above mentioned ideals in my life and that needs to be remedied pronto! ok, Who wants to take me to Antarctica?